Let Freedom Fries Ring...I mean Let Freedom Terms Ring: A Reflection of Rhetoric
Blow Jobs, job growth, dot com, surplus, and Dolly (the cloned sheep.) All these words graced my vocabulary as I graduated high school in year 2000. As I prepare to graduate college in the next month I have been reflecting on my vocabulary that has flourished since my departure from high school. I would like to share these real world terms with you some of which include WMD’s, Evildoers, Feeding Tube, Social Security Reform and who could forget, Freedom Fries.
Job- What is that? Isn’t that one of the dudes in the bible?
Gay Marriage- We must protect the sanctity of marriage…even though over half of you will get divorced and our system allows Britney Spears to get married in Vegas for 55 hours. Use term to ignite a Christian Fundamentalist movement.
Evildoers- Is this even a word?! Yes, and Bush created it. It takes a genius!
Axis of Evil- Every country that does not kiss our a** and abide by our demands.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth- Vets who are resentful they did not get purple hearts and who did not marry a sultry Heinz Ketchup heir. Note: Turn heroism into skepticism.
North Korea- Warning: do not attack because they might kick our a** and truthfully we really have no one left in our military. Also, they actually do have one of those WMD thing-a-ma-jigs. Avoid term and country at all costs.
Abu Zarqawi- I don’t know, some guy on a King of Hearts card.
Flip Flopper- Use along with John Kerry. For a great election photo op or FOX News clip: purchase Patriotic flip flops (from Old Navy) and “flip flop” them together while saying “John Kerry, Flip Flop”. (Repeat)
Abortion- We love fetus’! But once the fetus grows up we have no reservations gassing the former fetus up in the gas chamber or denying the former fetus health care.
War on Terror- Use as excuse to invade a country you dislike (most likely one in the Middle East). Goal of War on Terror is to take over and dictate world. But use term instead with a wink, wink to your peeps.
Osama Bin What the F***!?- Some terrorist dude that Bush said he is not going to waste any time on? Instigated this whole “freedom” and “war on terror” mess. Even though he’s 10 feet tall (give or take a few feet with the turban) we still can’t find him.
Saddam Hussein- We can find him even if he is in a “Spider Hole”.
Weapons of Mass Destruction (AKA WMD’s)- President Bush...woops I mean, freak American’s out by using this term. Use it so much that Americans see the Atom Bomb going off in their sleep.
Terror Alert- A brilliant tactic to raise fear in the American People by using a color coded system. Sorry, no magenta. Important Note: Disregard alerts and fear after 2004 election.
John Kerry- Pardon my French, but what a pussy! A purple heart! Put a band-aid on it wuss. We never did care about Vets anyway…but we do “Support the Troops” for political reasons. Wink, wink ; )
Freedom-American‘s love it. (for maximum results, use with Democracy, 9/11, terrorists, terrorism, Shoe Bombers, tyranny, Saddam Hussein, and if you want to get crazy Freedom Fries!.) Do not mention Bin Laden.
Patriot Act- Violates the First Amendment but the name makes it sound “Patriotic” so the stupid ass Americans really won’t know the difference.
Jesus Christ- Make evangelicals believe that Jesus would want to smoke 'em out of their holes and assassinate leaders (just ask Bush and Pat Robertson).
Dixie Chicks- Saddam Loyalists.
Dick Cheney- Former Halliburton exec...hmm, what a coinqidink. Has had about four heart attacks in the past few years, including two in his knees! Do not mention gay daughter as might have another heart attack.
Global Climate Change- A euphemism for “holy crap"! The icebergs are melting and we are all going to get eaten by piranhas.” (take note: this will probably not happen in our lifetime so carry on with your Hummers and make social security reform the “real crisis”).
Democracy- Make US citizens believe that we have a democracy by using along with terms such as freedom, war on terror.
Operation Iraqi Freedom- Use term when people realize that the whole WMD thing was fabricated. For maximum effectiveness use along with photos and clips of Iraqis toppling Saddam statue.
Terms to avoid: WMD’s, Halliburton.
Terry Schiavo- Jesus Christ Martyr (even though she was legally brain dead). Has also been compared to St. Joan of Arc (FOX News). Use term along with feeding tube, Pope, and possibly abortion to fire up the evangelicals. For example: “Well, the Pope had a feeding tube”.
Filibuster- Who needs checks and balances? What did those founding fathers know anyway? Good excuse to change constitution for our convenience.
Terrorists- A rapidly growing number of Middle Easterners that don‘t believe in Freedom. (see Evildoers and Dan Rather.)
Insurgents- People that want us out of their country. (see Dixie Chicks)
Freedom- Yes, I already mentioned this one. For some reason I can’t get it out of my head.
9/11- Use term when Presidential Approval ratings drop.
Sean Hannity- A man doing God’s work. Although he is probably really...shhh... gay.
Bill O’Reilly- A Fox News prophet. Do not mention falafels.
Tax Cuts- Give to rich so they can buy yachts and gas for their Navigators.
Social Security Reform- They believed in the whole “freedom” and “war on terror” crap so give this one a shot. Hold “town hall meetings” but thoroughly screen citizens in meetings, if you know what I mean.
Support the Troops- Use term if need a quick defense to defend the “war on terror”, For example: “If you don’t support this war then you don’t support the troops and that is so un-American.”
Tyranny- Use along with democracy, Saddam, freedom, yada, yada, yada….you know the drill.
Halliburton- Some rich corporate dudes. Made trillions rebuilding country we destroyed. Brilliant! (See Dick Cheney)
Condaleeza Rice- Utilize when in need of spinning a lie or to deny.
Iraqi Prison Scandal- Avoid term. (see support the troops)
Compassionate Conservative- An Oxymoron (see oxymoronlist.com)
Feeding Tube- One of my personal favorites. I need not say more.
Job- What is that? Isn’t that one of the dudes in the bible?
Gay Marriage- We must protect the sanctity of marriage…even though over half of you will get divorced and our system allows Britney Spears to get married in Vegas for 55 hours. Use term to ignite a Christian Fundamentalist movement.
Evildoers- Is this even a word?! Yes, and Bush created it. It takes a genius!
Axis of Evil- Every country that does not kiss our a** and abide by our demands.
Swift Boat Veterans for Truth- Vets who are resentful they did not get purple hearts and who did not marry a sultry Heinz Ketchup heir. Note: Turn heroism into skepticism.
North Korea- Warning: do not attack because they might kick our a** and truthfully we really have no one left in our military. Also, they actually do have one of those WMD thing-a-ma-jigs. Avoid term and country at all costs.
Abu Zarqawi- I don’t know, some guy on a King of Hearts card.
Flip Flopper- Use along with John Kerry. For a great election photo op or FOX News clip: purchase Patriotic flip flops (from Old Navy) and “flip flop” them together while saying “John Kerry, Flip Flop”. (Repeat)
Abortion- We love fetus’! But once the fetus grows up we have no reservations gassing the former fetus up in the gas chamber or denying the former fetus health care.
War on Terror- Use as excuse to invade a country you dislike (most likely one in the Middle East). Goal of War on Terror is to take over and dictate world. But use term instead with a wink, wink to your peeps.
Osama Bin What the F***!?- Some terrorist dude that Bush said he is not going to waste any time on? Instigated this whole “freedom” and “war on terror” mess. Even though he’s 10 feet tall (give or take a few feet with the turban) we still can’t find him.
Saddam Hussein- We can find him even if he is in a “Spider Hole”.
Weapons of Mass Destruction (AKA WMD’s)- President Bush...woops I mean, freak American’s out by using this term. Use it so much that Americans see the Atom Bomb going off in their sleep.
Terror Alert- A brilliant tactic to raise fear in the American People by using a color coded system. Sorry, no magenta. Important Note: Disregard alerts and fear after 2004 election.
John Kerry- Pardon my French, but what a pussy! A purple heart! Put a band-aid on it wuss. We never did care about Vets anyway…but we do “Support the Troops” for political reasons. Wink, wink ; )
Freedom-American‘s love it. (for maximum results, use with Democracy, 9/11, terrorists, terrorism, Shoe Bombers, tyranny, Saddam Hussein, and if you want to get crazy Freedom Fries!.) Do not mention Bin Laden.
Patriot Act- Violates the First Amendment but the name makes it sound “Patriotic” so the stupid ass Americans really won’t know the difference.
Jesus Christ- Make evangelicals believe that Jesus would want to smoke 'em out of their holes and assassinate leaders (just ask Bush and Pat Robertson).
Dixie Chicks- Saddam Loyalists.
Dick Cheney- Former Halliburton exec...hmm, what a coinqidink. Has had about four heart attacks in the past few years, including two in his knees! Do not mention gay daughter as might have another heart attack.
Global Climate Change- A euphemism for “holy crap"! The icebergs are melting and we are all going to get eaten by piranhas.” (take note: this will probably not happen in our lifetime so carry on with your Hummers and make social security reform the “real crisis”).
Democracy- Make US citizens believe that we have a democracy by using along with terms such as freedom, war on terror.
Operation Iraqi Freedom- Use term when people realize that the whole WMD thing was fabricated. For maximum effectiveness use along with photos and clips of Iraqis toppling Saddam statue.
Terms to avoid: WMD’s, Halliburton.
Terry Schiavo- Jesus Christ Martyr (even though she was legally brain dead). Has also been compared to St. Joan of Arc (FOX News). Use term along with feeding tube, Pope, and possibly abortion to fire up the evangelicals. For example: “Well, the Pope had a feeding tube”.
Filibuster- Who needs checks and balances? What did those founding fathers know anyway? Good excuse to change constitution for our convenience.
Terrorists- A rapidly growing number of Middle Easterners that don‘t believe in Freedom. (see Evildoers and Dan Rather.)
Insurgents- People that want us out of their country. (see Dixie Chicks)
Freedom- Yes, I already mentioned this one. For some reason I can’t get it out of my head.
9/11- Use term when Presidential Approval ratings drop.
Sean Hannity- A man doing God’s work. Although he is probably really...shhh... gay.
Bill O’Reilly- A Fox News prophet. Do not mention falafels.
Tax Cuts- Give to rich so they can buy yachts and gas for their Navigators.
Social Security Reform- They believed in the whole “freedom” and “war on terror” crap so give this one a shot. Hold “town hall meetings” but thoroughly screen citizens in meetings, if you know what I mean.
Support the Troops- Use term if need a quick defense to defend the “war on terror”, For example: “If you don’t support this war then you don’t support the troops and that is so un-American.”
Tyranny- Use along with democracy, Saddam, freedom, yada, yada, yada….you know the drill.
Halliburton- Some rich corporate dudes. Made trillions rebuilding country we destroyed. Brilliant! (See Dick Cheney)
Condaleeza Rice- Utilize when in need of spinning a lie or to deny.
Iraqi Prison Scandal- Avoid term. (see support the troops)
Compassionate Conservative- An Oxymoron (see oxymoronlist.com)
Feeding Tube- One of my personal favorites. I need not say more.
posted by Riley at 8:52 AM
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